Rob Adams a Painter's Blog

February 1, 2013

The Doldrums

It happens to us all I’m afraid. Somehow it starts to feel that your painting is going nowhere and you can’t see the way forwards. I have been there so many times over my career that it is like an old acquaintance. I have not been helped this year so far by almost a full set of rejections from the open exhibitions. The New English, ROI, RBA, Threadneedle all passed over my work. I did get into the RSMA and the RWS so not a complete washout! I know all artists must feel the same, but when I go to the exhibitions it is hard to look at what has been deemed worthy and think, “Am I really worse than this?” I would love to see the choosing process, by my lights much of the content in these exhibitions is of quite a low to moderate technical standard. Only a very few would be considered good enough for commercial work.

One thing that does strike me is that what is chosen it for “poke my eye out” qualities. Most the chosen work  leans towards the brash, only a few that are at all subtle gets through. This makes me suspect the paintings are “paraded” past the judges and most don’t get more than glanced at from a distance. I must be careful here lest I tread into “sour grapes” territory! I will in future selections choose more contrasty colourful  pictures as I suspect that is what in being picked up on. This is a bit of a pity as my current interest is leaning towards more subtle close tones. I shall persist with the open exhibitions, learning what gets attention and what is likely to get passed over is very difficult, I’m told by long standing exhibitors that they can never see any rhyme or reason as to whether they get in or not, so I may just have to accept  that it is a lottery. The lack of progress is disheartening though as until I have exhibited several times I am unlikely to be able to join any of these societies. If you are in the club you get your pictures in the open and other exhibitions  with a degree of certainty. I can see I have started the process a little too late in life.

Back to the doldrums. I don’t seem to be able to complete studio pictures at present. I have six or seven looking at me with what I sometimes imagine to be resentment. None of them are at a stage where they could be written off as disastrous , but I don’t seem to have the will to get down to finishing them. The plein air work is mostly fine, but needs a certain extra something, to many of the paintings are pedestrian and fit only for the cupboard and eventual overpainting. I need to focus on painting fewer but choose the subjects more carefully. I tell myself again and again not to do a painting just because I am somewhere with the intention of painting, but only when the subject has really taken my imagination and I can see how it can be made into a good picture. It is very, very rare I find for a mediocre subject to make a good final painting, in fact I can’t recall ever having achieved it in all my years of painting! To get good pictures you must contrive to get yourself in front of good subject matter, but that alas is much easier said than done.

In order to get myself up and running again I intend to do another series of 10 or so London studio watercolours my eventual aim being to have enough of them for an eventual exhibition. To raise the stakes I also intend to complete another 10 oils in the same vein. Seeing as I’ve announced my intentions I hope to have painted myself into a corner and will have to set to!

This post is a sort of retrospective, I wish to sort of look back and take stock. This can be a depressing activity when you look back and find that there has been little or no improvement in 30 years! This is somewhat of an illusion though as a success can occur at any stage in a painting life. When I look back the number of successes compared to failures seems to fairly consistently improve and that is all I suspect anyone can hope for. My review will consist of a painting or two from each decade from the 70’s onwards. Starting in the 1970’s.

Father Sleeping
I was in my early years much more of a drawer than a painter, this must be 1970 as it is marked by my A level art teacher. She was called “Glam” as she was very tweedy in dress and not keen on fashion. She encouraged me to work in pen and ink. I remember her being furious with the examiners that I didn’t get a better grade at A level. I’m not sure I had studied other artists much at that stage. I do however remember cutting the pen and ink illustrations from the radio times, which as I recall were of a very high standard.

 

StillLife
An early watercolour I guess from around 1979. Very little of my work was from life in this period. As is often the case looking back I like this much more now than I would have then.

 

Mushroom
A very rare item, an oil painting from the 1970’s. I had thought it later but the back says 1976. I would not have thought much of this at the time, but I quite like it now. It is an odd thing but you judge the past with the knowledge of the present. The 20 year old that painted this is a stranger to me now. Indeed I can’t really claim that it is one of my works, I vaguely recall I painted it in the company of my mother using her paints. Which makes sense as I didn’t own oil paints until I inherited my mother’s. The style is one that she would have approved of, she rather despaired of my love of science fiction illustrations and comics!

 

Spain
Into the 80’s. I don’t recall painting it, but it is Spain. Again with my mother’s oil paint. It is very thinly painted. I probably considered this just the beginning and would have made it much more finished. I have quite a few paintings from this period that are best forgotten as I didn’t know when to leave well alone! This is a period when I was studying perspective and trying to get my illustration work up to professional standards.

 

France
A watercolour from the very end of the 80’s. I remember the holiday, one of the last I took with my parents. I am sometimes amazed at the confidence I had then. Not entirely justified as the piles of failed efforts will attest. I seemed to set out on each painting with no fear at all. I am far less certain of success now, just something the years do to you I suppose. I start keeping watercolour sketch books from about this period.

 

Doctor
As an aside this is where illustration was taking me. My whole focus was on improving enough to get comissions. I was going two nights a week to life drawing and learning how to use Gouache and an airbrush with dyes. This was one of my first jobs for a Puffin book. To my great disappointment they didn’t use it and commissioned another artist to do it again. During this period the only paintings other than illustrations were done during infrequent holidays.

 

Tardebigge Church

In the 1990’s there was a brief foray into acrylics. I remember painting this with my mother’s easel weighed down with rocks due to the wind. I started with acrylics because drum scanning was coming into use and the artworks had to be flexible. Gouache if layered would crack when wrapped round the drum of the scanner. I can see the beginnings of my current style here.

 

Rome

This is an example from my sketch books of the period. The only watercolour painting I did was in these 7in by 5in sketchbooks. Nonetheless some of my favourite paintings are from this period. All the work on illustration was starting to make improvements in my off duty work.

 

lily
Another from my small sketch books around 2003 I think. I had by now moved away from illustration and was doing scenic painting for film, advertising and television. I was quite rapidly making a name for myself in that area as I had the sculptural and construction skills that made me quite useful. It was far more fun and more pleasant than the illustration world where snobbish put downs and subtle humiliations were frequent… something that the picture painting/gallery world has unfortunately got elements of as well alas. In the Commercial world “what” you were more than “who” you were was the defining factor. I had rather forgotten that in the rest of the arts this is often not the case. Also in fairness it is a little odd coming from the commercial arena where I am somebody trusted with projects running into millions, into the picture painting world where I am a nobody makes a slightly uncomfortable contrast. Not that I can really expect any different.

 

 

Hoo
I remember this day well. I went out with friends who painted scenery for the theatre. I painted this at a furious rate no more than 40 minutes. When I finished I was out of breath! It was in hindsight a turning point. I knew after painting this that sooner or later I would be leaving the very well paid  and fun entertainments world and risking my arm as a “proper” painter. 2003 I would guess.

 

Clare
Later in 2008, I am beginning to paint more seriously now. Still in acrylics but I am considering oils and plotting how to give up most of my paying work but still retain enough to pay the bills. Just as well I was a little circumspect as the crash proceeded to erase a considerable chunk of my savings. This painting showed me I needed to start learning to paint in oils. With acrylics the edges are far harder to control. Bravura painting in acrylics has to be just that as the stuff becomes unworkable so quickly.

 

London
Here we are up to date. One of the rejects. Nonetheless a painting I am pleased with. The problem I now face is that for whatever reason my definition of a successful painting is not what either the traditionalists or the moderns would choose. Which doesn’t bode for an easy ride!

 

Hammersmith Bridge, thames , London
Last weeks effort. A lovely day in Chiswick looking towards Hammersmith Bridge. I always find this sort of very crisp sparkly day hard to paint. The tide was rapidly approaching and it was blowing a gale, to make matters harder still. This looks average when the board is just bare, but once it has a frame it looks fine. Some pictures need that supporting edge that a frame supplies. 16in by 10in

 

Chiswick, Thames
A very quick daub. Looking straight into the sun I was chased up the shore by the tide ending up 10ft away from where I started. Only a colour note really. 10in by 8in.

9 Comments

  1. I am surprised that someone with your talent has the doldrums.

    From your paintings here you can see the development of your style, but the talent was there from the start.

    Your comments about exhibitions are common, one often wonders what the adjudicators are up to.

    Doug

    Comment by Yorky — February 1, 2013 @ 6:58 pm

  2. Hi Doug, well in my experience such difficult periods come before an advance of some kind, so I’m slightly gloomy but tentatively optimistic!
    Best
    Rob

    Comment by admin — February 1, 2013 @ 7:43 pm

  3. Well Rob – you may be in the doldrums (not for long I hope) but your blog and paintings always cheer me up so you must be doing something right! I always find several of your paintings that I really enjoy and wish I could paint to the same high standard. Exhibitions often seem to show the outlandish that catches the eye.I sometimes think to myself ” I could do that – and better”; and some paintings that pass muster with selection panels make me shudder and think that I would be ashamed to display them if they were mine. I am in the fortunate position of painting for a hobby – but if I had to make a living from it I know I would find it very difficult to paint what was the “in thing” or what sold. I’d want to paint what I liked and in a way that pleased me. Just as well, I think, that I never tried to do it for a living………..

    best wishes

    Mike

    Comment by Michael Trask — February 1, 2013 @ 8:39 pm

  4. Chin up, that’s two more exhibitions than me! :)

    Comment by Thomas Haskett — February 1, 2013 @ 9:45 pm

  5. Fascinating thoughts that, I’m sure, reflect feelings that we all have at some stage in our artistic lives. Lovely selection of your historical output and the opportunity to study your development. I attend some of the types of exhibitions that you refer to and am often underwhelmed by the selected works. Were I to be in the position of selecting works for open exhibitions you would have no problem in garnering acceptances, you produce work of a very high quality.

    Comment by Mick Carney — February 2, 2013 @ 10:29 am

  6. Thanks for support! I picked up my unworthy efforts today and met a friend who is a very good painter. He was collecting his rejects as well, same as me he got none in despite offering 6, some absolutely lovely paintings among them. Another painter I know very slightly who is quite capable but not in the same league at all in my opinion got two in. I shall reserve judgement until I see the exhibition. Last year the overall quality in all the different idioms on offer was I felt very poor, it is such a pity because good quality work would attract more of the same, and I think improve their lamentable sales record. Mainly they need better painters overall in these societies if you go to the Mall Gallery website and look at the membership galleries for the various societies you will see that despite a few stars the average standard is surprisingly low.
    Best
    Rob

    Comment by admin — February 2, 2013 @ 4:07 pm

  7. Thanks much for the retrospective, Rob. You’re enormously talented in both paint and words, with a great store of tools to apply to all your endeavours. I have faith that your efforts won’t be in vain in the end – you’re far too good for that.

    When I get rejected, I just bravely adopt the sage advice of Groucho Marx for awhile: “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”.

    Don’t let the bastids get you down!
    Clay

    Comment by Clay Harper — February 4, 2013 @ 8:42 pm

  8. i just googled “painting doldrums” because i can’t seem to kick my lack of enthusiasm and get into my studio. in an attempt to find some sort of advice/camaraderie i found your blog. It has only been a few weeks since starting a painting (which i have since wiped away)-but this feeling of disinterest is actually new for me. I have been out of grad school for almost 5 years and it is getting more and more difficult to conjure up the strength to keep applying for grants, exhibitions and residencies etc. to no avail. I used to feel like being a painter was like being some sort of alchemist, today it feels idiotic. i hope you are back to painting! sorry i just used your blog as a forum to vent :)
    -amanda joy

    Comment by amanda joy — February 28, 2013 @ 10:24 pm

  9. It happens to all of us Amanda, quite an important part of painting is controlling the various moods and storms of emotion that blow us off course. As I get older I am less prone to slack as I feel time pressing in on me.
    Rob

    Comment by admin — March 1, 2013 @ 9:34 am

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